WASSUP! Its been a while since Iv been here... Ive been busy here and there and a bit lazy to post about anything.. and I didnt know what to post about. Has much happened in the days Iv been away? yeah well,kinda,sorta. I havent been a depressed soul :D thats one thing im surely proud of! In fact Iv been a happy chap most of my days... I thank God for that. A blast from the past came back -_- .. Il share more about it in posts still to come. I also needed to get my head right and grow here and there,but other wise iv been rosey. :)
Oh yeah,to whoever reads this blog,thanks for taking your time during your busy day to read the nonsense and stupid and meaningless things I post :) It means a lot to me that someone cares to see whats on my odd mind.

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxo

LMAO bathi triple C... wahahahahaha

party of the year!!!!!!!!! MUST GO!

They say "every man for himself"... Well I dont fully agree. What I say is that you need to know which man/men/people is/are for you. In life,we meet specific people who play roles in our lives. People who have helped us shape ourselves into what we are today. So we do need people in one way or another that help you in life,but to me it is very important to know which people are there for you and which people are important to have in life to mould you into a better person. Know which people CARE ABOUT YOU as much as YOU CARE ABOUT THEM. Rank the people in your life the same way they rank you in theirs. Care for those who care for you too... sacrifice for those who will do the same for you. There is no other crap feeling than to have someone as a priority/top rank in your life but only to find out you are faaaaar down the list in their life. In my 18+ years of existence I have learned who is for me and who is not for me in the ways I am for them. When you take time just to really think about who actually gives a fuck about you. Such an assessment is vital! makes life and elimination of unnecessary things alot easier...

And most importantly,if someone doesnt care about you,you need to apply a ZERO LEVEL CARE.you can breathe without them,so you dont need them either..and you shouldnt give a damn

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 

Queen B

This poem made me cry...especially the last part. I related to it in soooo many ways...

Scars by Rudy Francisco

1. If I could I would nail these hands to the edges of stars. I would sacrifice this body to the sky hoping to resurrect as someone spiteful enough to not give a fuck about you.

2. Staple me to a cross. Pierce my side with a broken promise and I will bleed all the crippled reasons why you deserve one more chance.

3.Your bed smells like the last thing I was really good at.

4.You wanna know how I got these scars? I ripped every last piece of you out of my smile. 

5. I whispered you stardust.

6. I spoke you into sunflowers. 

7.I dipped my hands in forever. Touched you infinity. Treated you as if you were the last molecule of oxygen inside of a gas chamber. I was good to you.

8. You wanna know how I got these scars? I swallowed my pride and it clawed it’s way outside of my mouth. 

9. I realized I was never really your boyfriend. I was just your fuckin hype man. 

10. I hope your next boyfriend gets smallpox.

10. Yes I said smallpox!

10. I hate you!

10. I miss you!

10. I love you!

10. It’s hard for me to count when I get emotional.

10. I heard that 90% of human interaction is nonverbal so….

10. If I could I would tie your arms to a daydream and then auction you off to my fondest memories. 

See I wrote this poem in my own spinal fluid, I put it on the backbone of a white flag so before you read it you’ll already know that I’ve given up. I’ll just keep you here. Shackled to the most important chapter of my life story pressed into the basement of my eyelids like liquid salvation so I remember you beautiful with amazing underneath your wings and an orchid smile you gorgeous earthquake. You cracked hourglass with sand spilling from behind your ribs, you wasted my time.

How dare you linger on my lips and then kiss me like a stuttering apology with excuses stapled to the roof of your mouth. I still remember you like a dream  tattooed to the inner walls of a long term memory but some days I wonder if you existed at all. 

And of course, you wanna know how I got these scars. 

Well fine I’ll tell you…

I got these scars the day I fell in love with you. 

I landed face first.

TRUUUUUUUUUUST IT!!!

"Christianity is not a religion....it is a LIFESTYLE..."
Everyday I wake up I strive to be a representative of God so that people who do not know Him may see Him exist within me.... They should stop and ask themselves 'who is this God you serve so much that does such things to you and for you"

I am not perfect and I am a sinner but my God is slow to anger,He is forgiving and abounding in love... He never fails me,even though i sometimes fail Him. Each night I pray that He enters the hearts of those that dont believe in Him,that He shows them miracles for them to think twice and REALISE that He is there...

I never wanna judge them for not believing,instead I pray for them ukuthi one day nje....

To whoever who reads this... keep well,God LOVES you!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Crucifixion type love - Brent Rice

A friend sent me this poem today... as a young lady in Christ,this poem means THE WORLD to me and especially with the kind of future partner id love to have. I had to share this...

“My biggest prayer is to love her right
I want to…
Love her like Christ loved the church
Love her like her Father in Heaven
Loves Her Love her like the Holy Spirit loves her soul
And love her like she was created to be loved

But sometimes….
Sometimes my flesh tries to intimidate me with that kind of love
Its like my spirit cries out from the depths of this corrupted prison
With the voice of abel screaming that
I have not loved her to the extent Christ loves the church
 I want a crucifixion type love

Everytime I hug her I want my arms to be spread out on the cross
And I want to die to my childish ways
Everytime I look into her eyes
I want a crown of thorns to be placed on my head and surrender my thought life to her honor
I want the walks we take in the park
To be nails driven into my feet so that they will lead her with the authority of Moses
 I want a crucifixion type love

I want my side to be pierced every time we laugh together
so that ill always remember that she is my rib
Everytime I sleep and dream of her
I want my back to be beaten with a catonine tails
so that I’ll always carry her burdens for her
Everytime I’m not with her
I want to stand before pilate and stand true to my relationship with her
I want those who have seen me to have seen her in ME when we are apart
 I want a crucifixion type love

I want a love that will cause dead men to rise
When people gaze on us, they want to know who is this Christ that we speak of
Everytime she falls I want to take her in my arms like my cross and carry her up to calvary
I want men to mock me for not wanting to be like them
For not wanting to squander my love on various women
But to have the passion to pour out my love onto one soul for all of eternity
 I want a crucifixion type love
I want a love that was predestined before eternity
I want a love that was birthed in my mother’s womb
I want a love that is willing to give up this world for her
I want a love that is immaculate
I want a love that makes the angel’s wish they were in our shoes
I want a love that will make me pray to God and say
 Who am I that YOU are mindful of me to bless me with her
I want a crucifixion type love

I want a love that bleeds purity
I want a love that people will lie on us just to see us split apart
I want a love that will make me run away to a far village,
build a mansion for you with my bare hands
and send you love letters every day reminding you of me
letters that you can keep in a book and spend time reading them every day
I want a love that will make my spirit pray for you
I want a love that will make me walk on water
in the middle of the most dangerous storm for you
 I want a crucifixion type love

I want a love that my friends will betray me because of my affection for you
I want a love that after we’re gone,
that for centuries to come men will aim to follow in our legacy
Everytime I rise in the morning
I want it to be my cross being raised upright for you
To stand on the hill of my life and portray a beautiful sacrifice
I want to be placed into the tomb of your heart
The Tomb that your mother and father built
I want a love that will rise with all power over adversity
 I want a love that people will flock to see if it is real
I want a crucifixion type love

I want a love that shows my yearning for you
I want a love that even when we argue,
I still have a burning passion & desire to be with you
I want a love that heals
The kind of love that covers the wounds that were dug deep by the knives of infidelity and insecurity
I want a love that makes God get up and dance around his throne every time he sets his eyes on us
I want a crucifixion type love

So with all of that said
 Lord, give me the strength to love her like you love me
Like the way you didn’t consider being equal with the Father a thing to be grasped
But you came and gave up your throne for the filth of this world And in love, you served In the same way
Let me serve her unconditionally infinitely
Let me MAN UP
And quit wasting time playing games
and pursue her like you pursue your church
Because you have chosen me to be entrusted with her heart
So let me cherish it like a jeweler cherishes a diamond
Let me examine it and find out every minute detail about her worth

I want to love her
like Abraham loved Sarah
Like Isaac loved Rebecca
Like Jacob loved Rachel
Like Boaz loved Ruth
Like Solomon loved his Queen
 I want a crucifixion type love

So into your hands I commit this relationship
Because I want to love her like you Love your church

I WANT a Crucifixion…type…love…

I dont know what to post anymore so Ima leave it here for the day... Goodnight to whoever reads this.. Remember to pee and pray before bed!!!!

I love you though I dont know you ( I love you as a child of God lol)

 xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"You don't have to love me... You don't even have to like me.. BUT you WILL respect me.. You know why?? .... Coz Im a BOSS"

QUEEN of House vocals - Monique Bingham

Melanie Fiona... new found love for this woman and her music

Melanie Fiona....

Gone And Never Coming Back lyrics

Hmmmm

Sad that memories never die
Just fill your head with why
Then you're caught living a lie again
It's sad that all he ever said
Was that he love me to death
But then he's gone again
And I was wrong again
fuck him
Cause you think it's easier
Easy like that
Just when I wasn't finished
You were gone like that
Can't you hear me crying
Cause I need you back
Cause I'm slowly dying
Cause I need you bad
But you're gone and never coming back
Gone and not coming back
He's never coming back

Should of known the long kiss good-bye
Would bring sadness in my life
Wearing this disguise again
I wish that you would've said
Or lied to me instead
Like a bullet to my head
Like a fool I pretend
That it's on again
On again

Cause you think it's easier
Easy like that
Just when I wasn't finished
You were gone like that
Can't you hear me crying
Cause I need you back
And I'm slowly dying
Cause I need you bad
But you're gone and never coming back
Gone and not coming back
He's never coming back

Whoever said look on the brighter side
Has never been on mine
Whoever said that he'll get his
Never felt like this

Ain't no use in crying
When your done like that
Cause baby baby you took something
That I can't buy back
And now you're gone and never coming back
Coming back
Oh he's not coming back

HAALOO :)

K,so half the year is done.. everybody knows I havent had the best year. Im so glad we are half way there. Looking back on the past 6 months I... wait fuck that,I dont wanna look back or go back there!!!! So here we are at a new month,new half.. its time to make things happen. Dont ask me why I havent been making things happen before please coz I wont answer you.. If I wanna have a great year next year I need to plant my seed now. Ima take advantage of the next 6 months.. I have this strong feeling that they will bring about some good things.. I really do :) . So I just got to work hand in hand with God and make shit happen.

To the next 6 months of 2012 :))) *raises glass of juice*

Someone please take me to a place where I can look at a view like this every morning and every afternoon? please....

Me and my momma

absolutely love these pics lol. taken over a decade ago! My mother and I have come a long way. Everybody knows me and her never really had the best of relationships... aaah we've BEEN through a lot. But she's my mommy,I loooooove her with all of my heart. Id die for her. 

Onika

Is it just me or does Nicki look like Chaka Khan? Yes?No? ....okay

"all men are the same" - Girls.. The confirmation by Cole

"But the truth is,we all the same..on different teams but its all a game. The objective: tryna score.." - J. Cole

My husband

You say Cole aint hot,WHAT!!?? Where you read that shit!?

**)

cole

My baby

I live by 0 CARE. If I care its coz you really deserve it or I borrowed it from somewhere... other wise *sticks middle finger up*

**) Beez in the trap,bee beez in the trap!!!! tja ala thiss ass yo#yeshomo

"Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection" - Mmasechaba Monareng

Congratulations to my favourite singer Adele Adkins! She's preggies!!! from a terrible heartbreak to finding love and expecting joy?? now thats wassup!

Ok Iv beeeeen here. Its so much fun to just post whatever,even if no one sees its still much fun :). Never thought Id be into this whole blogging thing. I didnt understand it before but ayyyyyt here I am. Ive still got alot to learn about it.. Iv seen some really awesome blogs that make mine seem like dust. Beyonce's blog??? tjaar.

Ok anyway goodnight to whoever reads this in time. Dont forget to pee and pray before you go to bed. Remember,Jesus loves you ok?

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Psalm 86... One of my favourites...

Psalm 86

A prayer of David.

¹ Hear me, Lord, and answer me,
    for I am poor and needy.
² Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
    save your servant who trusts in you. 
You are my God; ³ have mercy on me, Lord,
    for I call to you all day long.
⁴ Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
    for I put my trust in you.

⁵ You, Lord, are forgiving and good,
    abounding in love to all who call to you.
⁶ Hear my prayer, Lord;
    listen to my cry for mercy.
⁷ When I am in distress, I call to you,
    because you answer me.

⁸ Among the gods there is none like you, Lord;
    no deeds can compare with yours.
⁹ All the nations you have made
    will come and worship before you, Lord;
    they will bring glory to your name.
¹⁰ For you are great and do marvelous deeds; 
    you alone are God.

¹¹ Teach me your way, Lord,
    that I may rely on your faithfulness; 
give me an undivided heart,
    that I may fear your name.
¹² I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; 
    I will glorify your name forever.
¹³ For great is your love toward me;
    you have delivered me from the depths,
    from the realm of the dead.

¹⁴ Arrogant foes are attacking me, O God;
    ruthless people are trying to kill me—
    they have no regard for you. 
¹⁵ But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God,
    slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. 
¹⁶ Turn to me and have mercy on me;
    show your strength in behalf of your servant;
save me, because I serve you    just as my mother did. 
¹⁷ Give me a sign of your goodness,
    that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
    for you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

Amen

B!

MY QUEEN!!! Im a Bey Stan....Il forever love this woman

That Bey and Jay kinda LOVE **)

one of my obsessions...

Im FOR shades ma niiigaaaaa!!! i need to own about 20 pairs by the end of the year. Im only on 8 pairs.. but il get there. ah i LOOOVE shades.

Every girl deserves a guy that will be her bestie and her lover at the same time ... <3

this typa love <3

 

Bathi "there's so many fish in the sea"... I got an ocean full of niggas... but I know that that ONE is not in there.. and when HE steps in the ocean? believe me,i'll know for sure..

@LwaZee_V  <-----aww woooooza...aw wowowowowoza aw follow me! lol

How cute is this? :) :)

I am not my hair...

So Etv's 3rd Degree with Debra Patta spoke about the battle of natural hair and weaves.... I really wanted to have my say about it. The show made it seem as though black ladies are tryna be what they are not and they are losing their identities by putting fake hair to alter their looks... Extreme bullshit if you ask me. Yes, what you do to your hair does show a bit of your personality but it doesnt neccesarily define who you are. Come on,we are not living in the olden days anymore,things have changed. As women, looks are extremely important to us. we want to look good every where we go, we like to try new looks and new things to see how it would turn out. But that does not mean we are changing who we are. We havent forgotten that we are African women.. and that title doesnt lie in our hair alone. I thought it was very unfair for us black women to be humiliated in that way. Dont white people have extensions??? dont they colour/bleach they hair??? yes hey do.. now tell me, is that a sign of them losing their identity? lets take a second to think about it ...... No,I also didnt think so. Weaves,extensions are modernisation. has nothing to do with losing our "african' identity. Ok,to some it is, some ladies arent proud of their natural self and use fake hair to cover up. But its the same with make up,those who arent happy with their skin go buy make up to cover up.
I could go on forever,but i just wanted to point out that our exterior does not determine the interior. Yes,it gives off a lil piece of our personality but it does not FULLY define who we are. I have a weave,but naturally have an afro. Im African,whether Im weaved,got an afro or braided. Nothing will change that shit!! India Arie did say "I am not my hair,I am not this skin,I am the soul that lives within..."




PS: Somebody show that lady Debra this post!

LOVE this

Still I Rise

BY MAYA ANGELOU

You may write me down in history   

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt   

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?   

’Cause I walk like I've got oil wells   

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,   

With the certainty of tides,   

Just like hopes springing high,   

Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?   

Bowed head and lowered eyes?   

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,   

Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?   

Don't you take it awful hard

’Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines   

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,   

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds   

At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,   

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,   

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.   

I rise

I rise   

I rise

I want this shiiit **)

K so like I'm back! haven't posted in a couple of weeks and since my mini phase of "depression". If you'd like to know how I am now (doubt you'd care though) I'm actually good.. well I'm fine rather. Have I sorted myself out? Kinda... nyana. All I know is that I'm not as depro as before. So my break from the world didn't really last long lol. I wanted to stay away for like 2 weeks but I only managed 4 days. But in that 4 days I actually got to learn a bit more about myself... The reason why I was so down was because of the pressure people/the world puts on me.. Dont really wanna get into it though.. but Iv developed a '0 level care' attitude. YES I DONT CARE... well not much. The most important person in my life right now has to be ME. God>ME> everyone else (yes there's a specific order but that really doesnt matter). Im tired of living to other people's expectations and hoping someone will notice how awesome I am... flip Iv BEEN doing that shit. seeking approval from others. I know I said happiness is internal,well yes yes it is. NOW Im actually living that way. Although things are still at a stand still in my life I see potential great things happening. God has been so kind to me even when I neglected him. He knocked at my hearts door and Iv let Him in and He promised to be my driving instructor chilling in the passanger's seat of the car of life  (10 June 2012,Sunday_ a powerful message at church that I needed to hear in order to turn my state of mind around) . I still need that get away though,Im not fully healed but Im getting there... but yeah man,Im ok. I hope whoever reads this post is also okay and is well with life and the shit it throws at us..

xoxoxoxo

Just one of those nights where Im feeling pretty down...infact Iv been feeling like this for a couple of days now.. Life gets to me sooo much at times,it gets a lil too much for me to handle. Im an emotional wreck,happiness visits me for a couple of days and leaves me back to my "depressed" self again. Im so young,but Iv had enough of life and its hardships really. I have given up on myself and the things I really loved :(. This has been by far the worst year of my entire 18 years of existence. I smile at the world because I dont like it when people are worried about me and I hate pity parties but sometimes I just wish someone knew me well enough to see that Im not fine and that some of my smiles and laughs are actually a front. My mind,heart and soul don't feel like they work together any more... Im screaming inside,Im very frustrated... I decided to take a break from the "world" and go away for a bit to see if I can get my mind right. My mindset is terrible right now :( ... FUCK! I hate feeling like this. Everything Iv ever known always just seems to disappear. Everytime I think I got myself together and iv found my "internal happiness" that I love to preach to people about,I lose myself all over again.. Or maybe Im just going through a phase..well I do hope so. But this shit has been going on for too long. Im even contradicting myself interms of my previous happy posts. But ya... anyway...

lol

Im not big on fashion,but if I had to steal someones clothes to wear it would definitely be B! She's so fabulous...

Can I please just own a pair??? 

Skydeck 88. 88 floor building,I think its the tallest building in the Southern hemisphere if Im not mistaken. situated in Melbourne,Australia. The view from the last floor of this bulding?? LOOORD the beauty! I was fortunate enough to get a chance to be in it> YEAAAH!! lol il never forget my trip to Australia in 2010 with @MbaliMzimela_

Lunch Time!! Im yet to find someone who eats kota as much as I do. Im gonna gain so much weight though :(

My passion for singing... I could quit it all just to sing. I really wish South Africa had as many opportunities like in America. I wanna be a Soulful house vocalist.. soon,very soon. Watch me.

House Music....

my favourite genre of music...House music...

:) :) :) :) :)

I woke feeling SUPER this morning hey... iv been in a good mood all day its as if someone came to feed me happy drugs in my sleep. Its been a while since iv felt this good and I cant even tell you what the reason is behind it.... Not complaining though,internal happiness and being happy for NO reason is THEE best feelings in the world. Wish this could last everyday. I wish everyone could be happy like I am. :D 

"I woke up this morning,the sun was shinning so I put on my happy face" - Destiny's Child

"The Lord is my shield,He's the healer of my soul...He's my tower of strength..my redeemer,my keeper. when my heart is filled with sorrow,He is the lifter of my hands..." I serve a SUPER AWESOME GOD!!!!!!!!!