K so like I'm back! haven't posted in a couple of weeks and since my mini phase of "depression". If you'd like to know how I am now (doubt you'd care though) I'm actually good.. well I'm fine rather. Have I sorted myself out? Kinda... nyana. All I know is that I'm not as depro as before. So my break from the world didn't really last long lol. I wanted to stay away for like 2 weeks but I only managed 4 days. But in that 4 days I actually got to learn a bit more about myself... The reason why I was so down was because of the pressure people/the world puts on me.. Dont really wanna get into it though.. but Iv developed a '0 level care' attitude. YES I DONT CARE... well not much. The most important person in my life right now has to be ME. God>ME> everyone else (yes there's a specific order but that really doesnt matter). Im tired of living to other people's expectations and hoping someone will notice how awesome I am... flip Iv BEEN doing that shit. seeking approval from others. I know I said happiness is internal,well yes yes it is. NOW Im actually living that way. Although things are still at a stand still in my life I see potential great things happening. God has been so kind to me even when I neglected him. He knocked at my hearts door and Iv let Him in and He promised to be my driving instructor chilling in the passanger's seat of the car of life  (10 June 2012,Sunday_ a powerful message at church that I needed to hear in order to turn my state of mind around) . I still need that get away though,Im not fully healed but Im getting there... but yeah man,Im ok. I hope whoever reads this post is also okay and is well with life and the shit it throws at us..

xoxoxoxo