I love me

You know... I'm not the same girl that I was about 5/6 months ago... This gap year that I'm taking has actually brought some change in the way I think and the way I see life. I was almost depressed  at the beginning of this year with all the things that had been happening in my life. Not being at school,dreams falling apart,breaking up with the guy  I loved and other things id rather not say.. For some time,I actually hated life,I didn't have the zest for it any more. I found myself questioning "why the f*ck am I here??" But point is,I am here..Meaning I DO have a purpose. I just needed to sit myself down and think about it. This time that I have to myself has done a lot for me. Firstly,and most importantly I had to talk to God and build my relationship with Him. Not that I didn't have one already,it just needed a bit of work because with the negative mindset that I was having,it was obvious that i didn't have faith in not only me,but in Him. So yes,I have now built a stronger relationship with the most High. Secondly, I had to "make myself happy". What iv noticed about myself is that I used to seek happiness from other people (a better half or friends or whatever).. but proper happiness is internally found. I can actually say that I love being alone,and I make myself happy. Yes,my friends also contribute to it but most of it comes from me. God loves me,and the next person to love me is ME! Iv matured in many ways. I don't even know how to type the correct words to make you understand. I appreciate little things,like waking up and to be blessed with another day,instead of wanting to die(that was the old me). Iv forgiven people that I never thought I never could. I appreciate being alone,I don't seek comfort from a "better half",I find it within myself.

blah blah,I could go on forever but point is,I love the person Iv become... and the woman I'm becoming ...:D